How Women Can Take Advantage of Preseason

August 25, 2013
Football has consumed my TV for the past few weeks. Games upon games between teams my husband has never cared about, but insists he has to watch the NFL preseason. 

What is the NFL preseason? I've been told different things and last night I rambled on and on about what the preseason is and why it's dumb, and my husband agreed with what I said and said he's so glad I understand football. 

Let me explain.

NFL preseason doesn't matter. But it does. Teams play each other just like they would in the normal season. Coaches, fans, tickets sold, cheerleaders, tailgating, bad calls, player/ref rights and all the works. Both teams want to win, but does it matter who wins? Nope. Apparently not. It doesn't matter to their record, but apparently it matters, some how

Ridiculous, right? Right. Even better -- Travis said we don't have to watch football this week because "everybody knows the fourth week of preseason doesn't matter" What? I thought all 4 weeks don't matter? This is getting obnoxious. 

So - preseason doesn't matter, and the fourth week extra doesn't matter. Why the hell do we have preseason football if it doesn't matter, but secretly matters? Because people who play fantasy football care. Don't get me started on that. 

Are you lost and confused? Me too. 

Want to know how much preseason matters and how accurate it is? 

In 2008, the Detroit Lions were 4-0 in the preseason. During the regular season, they were 0-16 to become the most losingest team in football. You thought the Lions were going to be amazing, and they sucked shit. 

Ladies, this is why preseason matters to you

We are between off season and normal season of football. We also happen to be between summer & fall clothing collections. So, here we are - preseason shopping. It's not Summer and it's not Fall. This is the fourth week, which means in a week or two, Fall fashion will be upon us, but for now, grab your credit cards and run to the mall or Target because the fourth week of preseason doesn't matter. 

Anything you buy doesn't matter. Anything you've purchased in the past 3 weeks doesn't matter. But it does, because you're getting ready for Fall and checking out the new fashion and designer collections. 

See how ridiculous that sounds? All the clothes I've purchased in the past month, I thought, were transition pieces, but now, they're really pre-Fall fashion preparations. 

Have I lost you? I think I've lost myself. 

This is the fourth week and nothing matters. Watch football, for the hell of it. Go shopping, for the hell of it. 

Ok, fine, I guess I should put some educational content in here. According to Wikipedia {super legit } 
The National Football League preseason is the league's reference to the period each year during which NFL teams play several not-for-the-record exhibition games before the actual "championship" or "regular" season starts. "Exhibition season" is more apropos. Beginning with the featured Pro Football Hall of Fame game in early August, five weekends of exhibition games are currently played in the NFL. The start of the exhibition season is intrinsically tied to the last week of training camp.

Nowhere in there does it say why or why not this matters. So, screw it, go shopping because no one can tell you it's right or wrong. 

The Target Sunday ad just came out - peace out. 

Go practice shopping, because nobody cares.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so confused! LOL!!! but those nails are cool :P