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I was really excited, then I found out . . .

October 31, 2012
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I was really excited to work in radio and then I found out . . .

After my internship at a radio station I quickly crushed Travis’ dreams, well I guess they weren’t dreams since he didn’t want to be in radio, but I crushed his love for radio after I let him in on all of the little radio secrets.

I won’t go into too much depth because I don’t want to crush your whatevers.

I was really excited to work in radio and then I found out . . .


Your request will not be played. Ever.
Unless it’s one of the most popular songs right now and is guaranteed to come on anyway. You don’t really think stations don’t have their music selections picked and scheduled, do you? If any station works that way, I bet they have a lot of Xanax in the studio.

Sorry to burst your bubble—your favorite jock isn’t grabbing your favorite cassette and pushing play the second you request it.  Though, these days, are people really calling radio stations and requesting songs? You Tube that shit.

Be caller 102 to win right now!
You think someone gets paid (and even if they did get paid to do it) to sit and answer phones and say “sorry, try again.” 102 times? No. Even if you are the 102nd caller and you’re not excited and upbeat, you’re not going to win. Radio needs winners who are going to be excited, and who are probably the 2nd or 5th caller.

You think it’s cool that you call every day and know every jock’s every move and life story.
You’re either a prize whore or a loser. Even listening to my favorite morning show, when I see the same person commenting on the jocks’ Facebook, Instagram and Twitter accounts plus calling in every morning, even I, the listener, is irritated.

Would you enjoy some random person waiting for your next step and living by your every breath?

Back to the prize whore- you show up at every remote and think you’re cool, really, everyone is cringing at the thought of you being there and your anticipated arrival. Don’t show up at every promotion and event.


Your jock is a ghost.
Bless voicetracking. Your jock really does record the show, but it’s not necessarily always live. You really think someone is in the studio from Midnight to 6a? Not unless it’s a bunch of interns that drank too much at a concert and don’t want to drive home. Wait…what?

To be very time efficient, your jock will prerecord the show and pop in and out of the studio during their spot to answer phones or host giveaways.

Speaking of giveaways . . .  they’re usually not live. They record your convo during break and play it back during the show (if you hadn’t noticed) and cut half of the conversation. We’ve gone to the extent of reconstructing sentences to make you say things you actually never said—well, at least in that order.

Your morning show jocks are there, and they are live, except for . . .

Prank calls, Ryan’s Roses and similar.
When you listen to Ryan’s Roses or hear prank calls, you probably always wonder what you would do in that situation. Don’t worry, you won’t ever be in that situation. Cue phone acting agencies.

Don’t get me wrong, a lot of what is on radio is live and is real, but not everything is. I didn’t burst all of your bubbles, I still left plenty for your imagination and didn’t even begin to ruin your TV watching experience. 


2 comments:

  1. I always wondered if they stayed there all night..lol!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wiat, so Kevin and Bean weren't really talking to Jesus a couple of weeks ago? I'm crushed.

    ReplyDelete