Shit military wives say when they find out I have a job

September 27, 2012
Branching off from Shit people say when they find out myhusband is a Marine, I’m proud to present: Shit military wives say when they find out I have a job.

Disclaimer: You read my blog because I’m uncensored and say what you’re thinking. I also give you an honest glimpse into anything. This is not about all military wives, but it is about the majority of unemployed military wives that I have met.

Here’s a little background on how I became a Marine Corps Wife: Travis and I dated long distance for four years, while I was in college, he was at two duty stations, and throw an Iraq deployment in there. We got married the week after I graduated college, and I moved to California the next day. It’s safe for me to say “I got married and/or moved after graduation”

Below are the reactions, my responses/thoughts are in italics and bold. Their questions might not make you say “seriously?” but maybe my interpretation or thoughts will make you rethink it.

“Oh that’s cool, we got married in or right after high school, too.”
“Wow, you graduated high school?”
“I can’t believe you wouldn’t get married until after you graduated.”

“Graduated from college, not high school.”

“Oh my God, you went to college?”
OMG, yes, THE Central Michigan University.
“That {college} must’ve been so hard!”
Not really.
“Wait, you dated long distance and went to college?”
Yep, and I didn’t have 15 boyfriends on the side.
“Woah, you have a degree?”
Yep, one of those, big, bad, hard to get Bachelor’s.

“I am an editor of a magazine / social media and email marketing strategist”

“Wait, you work?”
Wait, you don’t?
“Wow {Said as if I went to Harvard}”
“Why are you working?”
Why do you have a pulse? Because I am a motivated human being who enjoys working and having money. What the hell do you do all day? {especially to the ones w.o kids}
“How many kids do you have?”
None. No one said anything about kids. Oh snap, am I the first Marine Wife ever to get married and not already have a kid? I’m half kidding.

“Where do you live on base?”
I don’t live on base. You couldn’t pay me to live on base. Did you know there is life outside the gate?

“We just got married and we don’t have any kids {at the time}”

“Wait, what?”
We. Do not. Have. A. or any. Child(ren)

“I skipped college and we have 4 kids, better catch up.”
Um, what am I catching up to? I’m doing things the normal and traditional way, which I realize doesn’t really happen anymore. I’d like to live a little and save a little then throw a kid in the mix.

“Do you want to get lunch and go to a movie tomorrow?”

“Why aren’t you ever at the spouse events?”
I have a job. I work. I am at work during random hours of the day.

“You always miss our BBQs”
Yep, still working at 2:00 on a Wednesday.

“What does Travis think about you being at work all day?”
What does your husband think about you sitting at home no day with no kids to watch after? What the hell are you doing, anyways?

“What are your hours next week? Maybe we could get lunch or something.”
Seriously? I don’t work at Mc Donalds. I have a full-time, legitimate job/career. We’re not getting lunch or something.

“You’re not invited to x event because you don’t volunteer”
Well you’re a bunch of assholes. Remember, I work and bring in real money? I don’t do whatever I want all day long and I am completely fine with that.

I’m sure a few of you are fired up at my responses right now, but as I’ve always said, there are certain people who enjoy being stay at home moms and/or people who don’t want to work. I know that no one in a military family stays home because they are more than well off, it’s no secret that the military gets paid dirt, so why are you sitting at home? Especially if you don’t have kids.

I have nothing against stay at home moms, but don’t judge me for working. I have a passion and goals related to my career and it’s a part of my life. It’s okay for someone not to have a kid, or multiple kids, we all clearly do things at our own pace, but don’t judge me for it.

I can’t believe how stunned people always are when they find out I went to college and I have a job. I thought that’s what you were supposed to do with your life. I didn’t go to a prestigious school and I don’t have two doctorates. It’s really not a big deal. Hope you enjoyed the old school photos and my snark.

Here  are a few posts from the past that shed a little more light on being a military wife:

What questions bug you?


  1. LOL thankfully, I haven't experienced this. I had lived on my own for 2 years after college before I even met Chris. We waited into our 30s to have kids. Even though I am a SAHM now, it's by choice and I love it. I've always worked, otherwise. I'm still friends with the other JO wives from our first boat. We were all similar in educational background & family planning choices, I guess you could say. We were usually the oldest couple without kids after that first boat, though.

    Also? Living on base is for the birds. Blargh. Thank god we have too many animals to do it anyways. Not even a temptation.

    Keep being you. I'm glad I was older when I got married. I'm even more glad I was older when I had Klaw. It was fun traveling & just being married for 7 years.

  2. I HATE that so many things are done during a damn weekday. I love to be involved but I also love working full time. Thankfully our FRG meetings have always been in the evenings so I can at least go to those.

  3. This is hilarious! I hate when people think you sit at home all day!

  4. Okay, you crack me the hell up. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you how many times in the past month I have had to explain that just because I am "at home" doesn't mean that I can go have coffee or a two-hour lunch date. I have a job. I work from home. I don't sell Avon. The end.

  5. I LOVED this. Absolutely hilarious. My Marine husband (of two years) and I were high school prom dates then he joined the military and i went to college. Fast forward 8 years later he's established in his career and I've finished law school and the bar exam and only then did we get married. The general military wife lifestyle took me by surprise, people just could not understand that I was a working attorney or if they claimed they understood they really didn't GET it because I'd still be asked ridiculous questions about going to events in the middle of the day, etc. Or when my husband was issued orders for a duty station in another country and I decided not to go with him because it would effectively end my career... Wives looked at me like I had lost my mind. Or when we tell them we do not want kids, the reactions would make you think we had grown 3 heads. I have to agree with the writer on much of what she said and he reactions because i've experienced the same numerous times.