I don't love grammar

July 17, 2012
What? The grammar nazi and apostrophe police doesn't love grammar? You got it. I don't love it, I know how to use it, like any normal human being should.

 Every. Single. Day I am irritated by the ridiculous lack-of or misuse of grammar. Yes, I was a journalism major, newspaper editor and magazine editor, but that's not an excuse for you to tell me "well that's why you are so good with grammar." Am I so good with it or do I use it well? Neither. I use grammar properly, just like we were all taught in every grade of school.

I understand that commas and semi-colons can be hard to use, at times. Nobody is perfect. What is really sad to see is the lack of people caring to be proper, and I don't mean snooty proper, I mean using the English language properly.

I don't want to get into an English lesson, but here are the most common, most annoying words and phrases that are often used incorrectly.

Your     You're  {not ur}
There   They're   Their
To         Too {not "t"}
Taco     Taco's  {tacos don't have possession of anything, at least not when you use an apostrophe}
Last Name    Last Names    Last Name's {no one will ever get it}

I've got to stop there, my blood is boiling. It's even better when people are trying to make a statement or talk bad about someone or something and their grammar is out of this world. What was everyone doing during school? During high school we had to 'master' a series or grammatical things each year (commas, apostrophes, semi-colons and etc...) they were called masteries. Senior year, everyone had to past the Demon Test- a test compiled of all previous mastery tests. If you didn't pass, you didn't graduate.

My Facebook friends graduated. My Facebook friends suck at the English language. Neckless (necklace) Wring (ring). Mine as well (Might as well) How in the hell does mine as well make any sense? Brasilet (bracelet). People that say t instead of to... really? You couldn't type the o? Same with n instead of and.

If this is what has happened to my generation, that evolved with technology, when grammar came first. I am scared for everyone younger than me. If you missed Put it down & live a little: Children & Technology, it's a good read.

I often post photos and statuses of businesses and people using apostrophes wrong, because it's funny. I don't understand how people think that apostrophes belong where they do. Why do they do it? Because they think anything with an s must be accompanied by an apostrophe. Wrong. 

People that know they are using grammar wrong, don't take steps to fix it, don't care to fix it and don't want to be right. Instead? They make fun of me and call me a grammar nazi, post on my wall "I thought of you today when I saw a sign misspelled" Fine, think of me, but don't be a douche, don't' be the one I'm making fun of. Grammar isn't math, trust me, I suck at math. Grammar and spelling is a way of life, it's around us every day, proper grammar and spelling is everywhere, so is spellcheck.

I will spare you and not ramble on and on and on about how much we have failed the education system. The education system has not failed us, myself and many others are proof.

Make fun of me for knowing how to speak, type and spell well. I'm fine with being made fun of for being intelligent, educated and doing things right. You? Keep on making up your own words and typing statuses that no one can understand.

If a brand posts a photo or sign with misspellings, I unlike the brand page, and I honestly lose all interest in the brand. If your blog header has an unnecessary apostrophe, I will not read your posts, I can only image the grammar slaughter that is to follow the header.

When people see grammar used properly, I would think they would get confused, but I've come to realize they have no idea what is right and what is wrong, and they don't care. Today I saw a post that said something along the lines of "I love tacos so much, haha now I'm craving taco's." REALLY? Why did you say 'tacos' right the first time and then in the same sentence, you threw in a random apostrophe, for no reason?

Speaking of a question mark. Now that we are all lazy and barely use punctuation online, most of us have forgotten where to put a question mark. Do you ever notice that the majority of "questions" online are now ending with exclamation marks! Like that. That sentence should've ended with a question mark, because I was asking you a question. I get so many messages and emails asking me questions with periods at the end. So you don't want me to respond? Fine. I'll read the email as if you're an extremely confused person.

There's nothing wrong with using everything you've learned in life. It's not stupid to be smart. It's really not even being 'smart,' it's just living life as we were taught. 

The best part? People that agree with my statements or photos and make fun of others, and then turn around and slaughter spelling and grammar in a post. Really? Are you agreeing with me to be cool? Do you have any idea what I'm actually talking about?

I will admit, that I am relaxed with grammar on certain occasions. I prefer not to use capital letters in my Facebook statuses and Tweets- it's a visual/font thing for me, but I still spell things right and use correct punctuation. Twitter is another place you can be relaxed, but you can eliminate punctuation and shorten words without looking uneducated. In personal emails and relaxed work emails, I may forgo capital letters, but I still end sentences properly. On chat? I definitely don't use much punctuation or capital letters, but all of my sentences are complete and proper sentences-sometimes with spelling errors, but it's chat, not an essay- and they are spelled wrong because I am typing fast, not because I don't know any better.

Don't be a dummy. If you have questions, search on the internet how to use apostrophes, or commas, or which form of a word to use. The internet won't judge you, but I will. 

Interested in grammar posters for your office or dorm room? The Oatmeal Grammar Pack makes understanding these things fun, and coworkers get into it, too.

15 grammar goofs that make us look silly. This is good even for the grammar nazis! 

Now I must go, before I have an apostrophe anxiety attack.


  1. Oh my gosh! I am dying over that tattoo! How sad that the girl getting it nor the tattoo artist knew any better! Great post! I'm also pretty picky but I have to admit that I have made some dumb errors in my post, even after rereading them a few times before posting.

  2. Okay, I mostly agree with you. I feel I have a decent grasp on grammar and the English language. However,there are times I've reread and edited something I've said in a status update or blog and am unable to catch my grammar slips. Ah well, I try and am pretty darn good at it. I hope my friends or readers don't judge me too much for the occasional oversight.

    1. We all have slips and careless mistakes- but there's a difference between those and the people who misspell things all day, every day and never use proper anything. Hope i don't sound like too much of a grammar nazi, there is definitely a big difference. Intellectual vs. idiot :)

  3. I won't comment on my grammar - I try, but don't always succeed. However, as a former math teacher, I would like to add a pet peeve of mine: when stores post the price of a product as .50 cents (w/ the cent symbol). Eek! I actually tried to explain to a woman at the register why I should technically get 10 items for one penny since they were advertised as .10 cents - she didn't follow.

    Oh, and another thing to add to the list - I hate when companies have their tagline in quotes. Really? Who said it?

    Sorry to rant. I enjoyed your post and had to comment!