Widgets

does your husband ever apologize for. . .

July 02, 2012
being active duty?  Right there, I sound like an incompetent depandasorus, but let me explain. I knew what I was getting myself into by dating, being engaged to and marrying a Marine. Not once did I question my new and upcoming lifestyle. I'm not questioning it now, but it is frustrating. There are pros and cons that come along with being a military wife, just like with anything else in life, but since Brady was born, things have been a little  more frustrating.

I love my son, he's perfect, and better than your kid. ha ha I would do anything for him, and I do. The thing is, I love and value my career and take it seriously, as do my child and family. It's really hard to love, value and put 100% into 10 different things, though I always try because I think I can.

Since having Brady, I've missed a few industry conferences I was looking forward to, meetings, time with friends and time to myself. I posted earlier about the struggles of being in Corporate America while being a military spouse, you can read it here. Travis deployed when Brady was 3 weeks old, so I had 6 1/2 months of nothing but maternity leave then going back to work and driving back and forth to daycare. I missed a lot because I had to be mom, which is fine, but it would've been cool to have a babysitter or family near by to help out every once in a great while.

No one has a perfect life, I get it, but my husband always gets to do whatever he wants to do. I have a meeting every Tuesday at 5:00 and my husband always seems to conveniently have something going on at that time, but usually not any other night of the week. I have to take the call in my car while driving to daycare, present my content and hope it doesn't sound like I'm driving. I can't take notes during the meeting and thank goodness it's not a webinar.

We do not have family near us, so that plays a big part in it. I'm not asking for a pity party, but part of making myself feel better at times is to digitally vent.

Travis has guy nights every once in a while, and he makes sure he doesn't go out until Brady is in bed, as thoughtful as it is, it doesn't do me much good. Brady is in bed, Travis is gone, so it's just me and the TV, so I typically end up coming up to my office and working.

We've never been on vacation, and probably won't be able to go until after he retires, in 10 years.

I'm not asking for him to randomly apologize for being a Marine, that's not what I'm getting at. When I share my frustrations about not being able to attend things, or being stressed with work because I have to pick up Brady from daycare, or I have to take him to the doctor or I have to deal with other bullshit because he is always at work or mountain biking or something else...he usually has no response or he'll say 'okay.' To me, a normal human would be like "oh, that sucks" "I'm sorry you're going to miss something you wish you could attend." Stuff like that. It's not because he's a Marine, maybe he's just turning into one of those guys who only speaks when necessary, seriously. I'll tell him random things I read online or text him or email him something and, as far as I know, he doesn't hear me or read them because he has no reaction. Sometimes I will say the most obnoxious crap or make something up to see how he reacts.

Maybe we are just getting old and he's getting boring. I've been in a slump since moving to VA and I think I'm starting to get irritated by everything. Now this post as strayed from what I really wanted to say and I'm venting about everything bothering me today.

I'm damn proud of my husband for everything he does and I wouldn't change anything, but I guess every once in a while some sympathy or even acknowledgement would be nice. I missed a huge event in San Diego this weekend and talked about how sad I was several times, I don't think he heard me.

Maybe this post makes me look stupid and I could see some assholes saying crap about me and why my husband isn't responding, because it's things I would think if someone else wrote this and I read it.  ha ha

Sometimes I just wish I could have it all, the perfect schedule, vacations, family time and spare time. Is my life not taken seriously because I'm not a Marine?

C'est la vie.


Enter the Conscious Box Giveaway

2 comments:

  1. Hubster also has 10 years left until retirement... (: He apologizes about the job but for different reasons. He feels bad when he comes home at 10 at night. Or he feels guilty about being deployed. It was my choice to be a stay at home mom and he thanks me for staying with the girls. From the financial standpoint, I don't need to work so there's a huge amount of stress that I avoid with trying to find a job every time we PCS.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can relate. While my hubs isn't a Marine, it is interesting how life falls into a pattern while their off doing military things. Sometimes I just want a break. More often I just want a partner to split responsibilities with 50/50. I hate how true it is when people say that the military can be the 'other woman'...

    ReplyDelete