we should've moved to croatia

May 21, 2012
note: this was written several days ago when I was having a terrible day. My opinions have not changed, but are not as severe today as they are on others. 

There, I said it.
A few years ago, I persuasively asked Travis not to accept orders to Hawaii. Yes, I just said that too. I love California and didn’t want to leave. Everyone says they want to visit California and all of that long-distance friends and family stuff that everyone says, but they never actually do. If we moved to Hawaii, Travis would deploy and it would have been just Goose and I chilling on an island with nowhere to go.
I met Travis in Hawaii in 2009, on his way back from a deployment. A few days there was nice, but I actually missed California. Hawaii is a great (and expensive) place to visit, but I couldn’t imagine myself living somewhere where the next closest place to visit was a 6 hour plane ride away. Flights were expensive from California, friends from Michigan definitely wouldn’t be able to afford the time and money to visit in Hawaii. (Not calling my friends poor, but visiting Cali is expensive, Hawaii… yeah.) I know I would get island fever. Hawaii isn’t for everyone- just accept it.

So, he pulled some strings and deployed some more so that we could stay in California. He can deploy all day long as long as I get to stay in California. Haha. But seriously.

We spent more time in California than the Average Joe Jarhead, so it was time to go. Travis really wanted to go to Croatia, but Brady was a newborn, I’m an only child and my parents aren’t getting any younger (sorry, Lady!). I fought and fought and fought to stay stateside because of family. Croatia looks amazing, I’ve seen it on the Travel Channel, but if no one visited in California, they weren’t going to visit CROATIA. I take that back. Travis’ Mom, Step-Dad & Sister visited after Brady was born, and so did my parents. Jason visited us before we moved, but that’s expected, he loves us ;)
Travis and Jason. There is no denying it. 
So, I told myself it would be okay that we moved to Virginia Beach because we would only be 14 hours away from where the rest of our family lives. Well, we’ve been here for two months and known we were coming here for 10 months. The guest bed is dusty (not really). Some have intentions of coming, but that’s just it, they are intentions. Rarely do people act on intentions. It’s expensive to travel and take time off of work, but we thought being within driving distance would help with that. I have to interrupt myself and say that in no way am I upset with our family and friends that they have not visited or have plans to, that’s not where I’m going with this. Life happens, you don’t see me traveling anywhere anytime soon either.
The San Diego of the East Coast, my ass. 
So, I convinced myself it would be okay that we moved here because people would visit and we would be able to go to our hometown more often. Once we got here, I realized it takes two days to get to our hometown, so about 4 days of traveling on top of finding time to actually stay and hangout—never going to happen. Although, if we had a reason to drive home, like say, our nephew was having his first birthday party, we would find a way to go home and visit. We stopped getting invitations to family events because we were on the west coast. Now that we are on this crummy side of the country, we are still non-existent.  Maybe they think we are too busy, you say?  They didn’t ask. They invited people that live a lot further away than us. This really isn’t anything that shocked me…we aren’t very close with Travis’ brother and his wife, which is a story for another day, that I’ll probably never take the time to tell.  Actually, there isn't a story. We tried and now we're done trying. Priorities are elsewhere. So, I sent a gift and I hope he gets it. I didn’t get a tracking number this time, so I’ll never know if it actually arrives.

Back on track. I wish we moved to Croatia. We should’ve taken it. Brady is so young he has no idea what is going on. His grandparents don’t live 10 minutes away like mine did, and they probably never will. I was okay with moving to Virginia for Brady (and obviously Travis’ career). We should’ve gone while Brady just loves hanging out with his parents. He wouldn’t have had to leave any of his friends or change schools. Why didn’t I think about this a long time ago? Yes, we would miss our families and never see them, but that’s no different than living in Virginia.

If you haven’t heard, I hate Virginia. I’m not sure if I’ll ever post all of the reasons why, I’m probably the only one who cares, but I’ll give you a quick rundown. It’s not California, it’s humid, it’s hot, there are a lot of bugs, I don’t ever want to see a tick, I can’t go outside without my whack ass neighbor saying weird things to me, the beaches are full of tourists, parking is expensive, there are no palm trees, it rains non-fricken-stop, we only know a couple of people here, my job is in California, my heart is in California and my friends (for the most part) are in California. Did I mention Rubio’s and craft beer? Virginia Beach food is a joke. Beach Brewing Co., is the closest thing we have to sanity.

I miss you, California. Maybe I’ll see you soon, Croatia—unless we can go back to Cali!

I love my family and friends, I just wish we were all made of money J

Semper Fi,


  1. the title of this post caught my attention! i love Croatia! I used to live in Austria and to travel to Croatia was easy-peasy. I also took DH there when we were dating, he fell in love with it. Its a place that I would totally and completely recommend to everyone to go.

    but on the note of friends and family visiting, i TOTALLY understand. this is the first time my husband has been stationed Stateside since he joined (he's been in for 10 years!). So we thought a lot of people would visit. Not really. His family has been the only ones that have visited us. Yes, my parents are all the way in Spain BUT it saddens me that they have had no plans to visit us whatsoever, nothing! i have friends on the East coast and only one has visited us...that's it. I basically have given up and come to the realization that if my family and friends want to visit us, its all on them. its not like we are living in another country.

    i'm done with this novel of a comment :)

    1. Thanks for commenting. I knew I wasn't the only one, but sometimes it's good to hear 'real' stories. Where are you living? Maybe I'll come visit you. haha

    2. We are currently in 29 Palms...i know, i know :P
      I hate this place BUT we are situated in the middle of everywhere yet we are in the middle of nowhere. it just gets so frustrating!

    3. ouch. i've never been, but i can't say i have any desire to go haha

    4. its hell. i hate it everyday a little more. UGH! I cannot wait to get out of here!!!

    5. everyday I hate it a little more. I cannot wait until we get out here!

  2. I completely understand what you mean about Hawaii. We're actually living in Hawaii right now and you wouldn't believe how many people stand with mouths agape when they hear I don't like living here. It's insanely expensive - especially for people who are from the South - and it's so SO far from home. We thought for sure people would come visit us since we LIVE IN HAWAII, but the only way we could get our parents out here was to have a baby. (Way to make us feel GREAT.) My husband deployed two months after we moved here in 2010 and I knew one whole person on the whole freakin' island. I'm sure that has something to do with my dislike of living here. Other than the ridiculous traffic, prices and distance from home. Needless to say we can't wait to get back to the mainland!

    1. One of the many things civilian families don't understand. I hope You get orders soon!

    2. Hi Sarah, I also live in Hawaii and I feel the same way as you. I don't know many people, everything is terribly expensive and they are just looking to rip u off at any corner cus they think u re a tourist. My husbands family lives in Texas and we can't go there, no one wants to come and visit (it cost an arm and a lag to come to this freakin' place). People just don't understand because they haven't been through this.

  3. well....at least you know the kid got his gift now hahaha

    1. lol. that's what happens when you have to figure out who sent it so you know who not to thank.

  4. Wow, this post sounds like I wrote it! I am so glad to hear I am not the only one. We got stationed here 8 months ago and I just feel stuck. We have more than two years left. We can't go anywhere because it's just too damn expensive. Before Hawaii, we were living in northern Cali. Loved that place! I miss it so much. The food, the people, the fact that we can sit in our car and take a cool road trip. I loooove Cali. To be honest, Cali coast is as beautiful as Hawaii.
    To travel to San Francisco from this island for a family of 3, cost at least $400-700 a person. It is so frustrating.
    Oh, I forgot to mention: I'm Croatian. I miss my family like crazy, I miss mainland and to go back to Croatia would cost like $2000 for one person!
    I want real Mexican food, Chipotle, ugh!
    Anyway, thank you so much for writing this post :) I understand how this feels.