texting isn't worth it

May 18, 2012

Losing someone sucks. Losing someone unexpectedly sucks even more. Last night, we lost an amazing co-worker to a tragic (obviously) car accident. Two young girls lost their mother, a husband lost his wife and everyone lost a friend. I didn’t know her on a personal level, but losing anyone is hard. I work remotely now, so I found out via text, followed up with a phone call. There’s nothing you can say about this situation.

Since finding out of her passing this morning, I haven’t been able to focus on anything. When someone leaves us or something tragic happens, it makes me understand why Agoraphobics think the way they do.

I am more terrified of something happening to my family when we are out and about than I am when my husband goes on combat deployments. 

I do not know that her phone played any part of her accident, but it’s one of the first things I thought about. I’m guilty of texting, emailing, Facebooking and tweeting from time to time while driving. I know better, but I still do it. (update: she was texting)

I vow to never touch my phone while driving, ever again. How terrible and lame would it be for Brady to have to tell people he lost his mom because she was doing something that wasn’t time sensitive on her smartphone.

Remember when we first got our drivers’ licenses, right about when cell phones became popular, and we had limited minutes and the only other thing you could do on your phone was play snake?  I never considered playing snake while driving, no point. We used to rush home to check our voicemails or answering machines, or if we had something exciting to tell a friend, we would drive over.  Whatever someone is texting or emailing you can wait. Arrive alive.

I don’t want to stray into the topic of technology ruining communication, so I’ll try my best to stay on track. The point is, nothing is that important that you need to be looking at your phone while driving. If it’s that important, someone will call you, if they don’t,  then they are inconsiderate. Don’t you dare tell me big news via text, email or Facebook. Phone calls still exist, in fact, I pay a lot for my minutes.

Cherish every memory with your family. Call your loved ones often. Let your friends know that you love and appreciate them. Give your children big hugs often. Don’t drive like an ass. Don’t make stupid decisions. Have no regrets. Buckle up and arrive alive.

Live life to the fullest.

I’m off to take my own advice, pick up my son and give him the biggest, squishiest hug that he’s not prepared for.

Rest in peace, Melissa. We will always cherish our memories with you and you will never be forgotten. Thanks for hanging with me in the back of some of the event rollout meetings and talking under your breath with me. We all need comic relief in meetings sometimes.

Semper Fi,



  1. I have been one of the worst offenders of checking email and text while driving. However, a couple of months ago I made a verbal commitment to my wife to not only stop, but to help remind her to stop as well. It is pointless and, as you stated, incrediblly dangerous.

    I realized that my phone has become the biggest distraction in my life. The very thing designed to keep me in touch and connected to others has kept me removed from truly "being" present with those around me. Most importantly it has kept me from engaging with my two baby girls like I need to. This was so sad to realize, but I am so glad I did because I can do something about it. I choose to put my phone away and "be" where I am whether driving or hanging with the fam, I don't need to be glued to my phone. It works for me NOT the other way around.

    Thanks for your post and I am so sorry for your loss.

    1. thanks for your response, David. You said it best: The very thing designed to keep me in touch and connected to others has kept me removed from truly "being" present with those around me.

  2. Wow that is awful! I'm so sorry! I do my best not to do it with the girls in the car, but I shouldn't be doing it on my own either..

    1. Either way, you can die. It's whether or not your kids die with you.