are all military families disabled?

May 22, 2012
Are all military families disabled? Subconsciously, civilians view military families as having a disability.

More often than not, we are not asked to participate in events, invited to parties and other things along those lines because my husband is a Marine. Last I checked, it is his career that has relocated us, we don't live in prison. We might not live where we grew up (I wouldn't live there even if my husband was a civilian), but that doesn't mean we are physically unable to visit.

When you're planning a wedding, you invite people you know will not be able to make it, but you want them to know they were thought of, or maybe you just want more presents. Probably the latter.

No one visits us and no one expects us to visit. As long as we've been a military family, we've been the ones living in California or Virginia, the apparent black holes that once you're in, you can't get out and no one else can come in.

We are capable of driving, we're even capable of flying. The biggest reason we accepted this move was to be within a reasonable driving distance from Michigan. Honestly, we should've moved to Croatia.

Being a military family presents its scheduling conflicts and challenges, but nowhere did we sign something that said we will not leave our 5 mile radius of where the Marine Corps has stationed us. Often the excuse is "we know Travis' schedule is hectic" Really? How do you know that? 90% of the time, we don't even know what his schedule looks like, so it's impressive that you do.

You don't write off your long-distance family members, so why write us off? We're still long-distance family members, but because we are affiliated with the government, that makes us black sheep. Is it because patriotism isn't trendy anymore? Everyone loves to flaunt that they have a family member in the service, but they don't actually keep in touch with him or have a clue how he's doing.

If the service member is deployed, that doesn't mean that the spouse and children are. They would probably love to visit with family and friends or have family and friends visit them.

I'm asking nicely: if you're a civilian please don't write off your friends and family who are military families. We won't always be able to travel and make events, but that doesn't mean you should automatically assume we can't be there and write us off for all future invitations. 

We are not impaired, we just don't live where you live, but we also don't live on the moon.


  1. After 8 years we've just accepted it. It's ever so wrong, but we've accepted it and made our local friends our families wherever we go. :(

  2. What a perfect post! I often find myself wondering the same thing. Of course we're not in the USA anymore, but email, phones, and of course the good ol' postal service is still delivering. We've been overseas for over a year and I can count the number of times I've spoken to my siblings on one hand. Isn't that a shame? Anyway, I think this post is brilliant and I hope family members every where read it and take note!