April 12, 2012
* there are no photos included in this post. Please use your imagination.

I went to a website to pay a utility bill tonight and the first thing I saw was (to me) an unattractive, overweight woman who has probably taken a better photo. I thought 'who runs their marketing department?' I immediately closed my eyes for a couple of seconds, looked at her again and got a tear in my eye. I'm an asshole.

I've been planning on writing this post for a while and had pushed it off until next week, but that just made me stop everything I was doing to write this.

I admit, I am judgmental. I am also my own worst enemy and critic. I've been doing really well the past few years (yes, only a few years) to judge people less. What I've learned and what I hope you take from this is to not judge something about someone that they cannot change. We all have things about us that we cannot change and are self conscious about. There are even things about us that we think are perfect that others might make fun of that we don't even know about.

People judge each other and each other's children like no other. Everyone thinks their child is perfect and is the best ever and they are right. Every child is amazing. What if you found out someone was calling your child hideous? It would make you crumble. Even worse, there's nothing you can do about it.

Those saggy boobs that woman has after her children? It was worth it, because she had children. She can't 'fix' her boobs without plastic surgery. Would you even care if she fixed them? The child's crooked teeth? They are baby teeth, they were born with them and there's nothing they can do about it. Why do you care? That ugly baby? It's parents are the happiest people in the world, they created a life and it brings a smile to their faces and hearts.

What is acceptable? We pick apart models, actors, actresses, each other, children, fat people, skinny people, average people and everything in-between. Nothing is perfect. Nothing defines perfect. We are never happy.

I am guilty of letting society influence my life and thoughts. I am no where near happy with my body right now and I address that here. I read that Lauren Conrad hasn't worn a swimsuit in LA in 3 years because a paparazzi a few years ago posted a zoomed in photo of her cellulite. You can't fix cellulite. LC is skinny and beautiful, but has never worn a bathing suit again because of that.

I could come up with a lot of examples, a lot that I've judged other people on. If someone dresses whack, sure, you're probably going to think 'what the hell.' whatever, that's something they can change. Please don't ever tell someone what you think is wrong with them, you would never want someone to do that to you.

I am not as happy as I could be because of the looks people have given me or the things they have said in the past. My friends have committed suicide and we will never know why. People have stopped eating because of something you've said. I think twice about every photo I post on Facebook because I know someone is going to talk shit.

Why do I have to live in a world where I have to second guess every choice I make. I don't live to please others. I wish I could say I don't care what others think. I'm sure I have said it. Truth is, every thing I do, I do carefully or I don't want to do at all because I know someone will be talking shit or judging me.

The world will never change and I fear that it will only get worse. Take a moment and think about things before you say them or ask yourself why you care what that person's teeth, hair or shoes looks like. Does it make you feel better? Do you sleep better at night because other people suck? It's time to take a look at yourself inside and out. Don't judge people for things they cannot change or afford to change.

Be your own kind of beautiful.


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