the good, the bad & the ugly: ttc

April 26, 2012

Say wha....?
Trying to conceive? (ohh... TTC!) You'll be bombarded with all kinds of acronyms, those which I refused to use because I found them annoying. (shocker). FYI: trying to conceive, dear husband, dear daughter, dear son, aunt flow, estimated due date. Or in normal people words: not pregnant yet, husband, daughter, son, period (or insert names for the people...) ;AJSDFKL;JASD figure that one out.

Everyone's story is different. I think I was the first person I knew to get pregnant on purpose. When you're trying to get pregnant you realize that if you don't try, you get knocked up, if you do try, you don't. (16 and pregnant, your friends in high school, the 12 year old at the bus stop...)

This is my experience so take it for what it's worth. I'm also throwing in some random photos from that time in our life. They don't relate to any of the story, but it breaks up the text!

Planning (yes, some people plan to have children and in no way am I intending to offend those who don't, after all, I was a mistake- yes, mistake, I have problem saying that. I mean it as in accident, oops, surprise.)

When you're a military wife you don't do things how you want to do them. You do things with a calendar. No, I didn't bang my calendar to have a child, but we had to get out a two year calendar to figure it out. It was December 2009 and we knew a deployment was on the horizon in early 2011. I wouldn't mind being pregnant during a deployment, but I refused to give birth alone (can ya blame me?). So, we started trying immediately. We didn't use any tips or tricks or gadgets, but the more commercials I saw and random things I passed at Target, I figured I was probably supposed to be doing something additional to help the process. I bought some ovulation tests- according to those I never ovulated. Gave up on those things, it's weird anyways. I think I used a few iPhone apps to predict fertility based on LMP (there's another one for ya: last menstrual period) all of the apps said something different, so I deleted them. I Googled a little bit and read things like you have to lie still after DTD (doing the deed) for hours.. umm, no thanks.

I got my period in February and was upset, but not too worried about it since it was the first month and I had no idea what I was actually supposed to be doing. I found fertilityfriend.com and starting using that. You take your temperature with a basal thermometer every morning at the same time, before you get out of bed. Literally, before you move. Your temperature has to be at your RHR (resting heart rate) so I literally kept the thermometer under my pillow and barely moved my hand to grab it and take my temperature. If the dogs had to go to the bathroom before I woke up, I wanted to kill them because it wasn't worth taking my temperature that day. Why temp?

What are the benefits of charting? How can charting help me get pregnant? (from FF)
Charting can help you identify your most fertile time, pinpoint when and if you ovulate and can also help you identify whether you have any potential fertility problems that require the attention of your doctor. Charting and learning about your cycle can help you get pregnant faster.
Fertility Friend has been fine-tuned to help you get pregnant and learn about your fertility cycle. It will use all the signs you enter to help you determine when you are fertile, when you should have intercourse (look for the green light on the Fertility Analyzer), when you have ovulated, when you can reasonably test for pregnancy and whether or not you might be pregnant.
Couldn't have said it better myself. There are a lot of FAQ's on their website, too. So anyways, you take your temperature every morning and record it on FF. It will tell you all kinds of things and you can see other people's charts. I started obsessing over them and comparing mine to theirs. Charting can be intense. Although it was only once a day, at the beginning of the day, it's all I thought about all day long. Maybe it's because I was on a time crunch (February and March were the only months we could try) or maybe because I have zero patience and wanted to know what my temp would be the next morning. As your temp gets lower you're hoping that's the lowest point and the implantation dip. I'm not going to get into specifics of charting since you can read about it on FF. It consumed my life. It's all I thought about. I was searching fertility things all day long. I wasn't doubting my fertility, I just wanted to know when I would know if I was pregnant or not. It became an obsession. I can't tell you how many pregnancy tests I took. I don't even want to know how much money I spent on them. I would take them a week before my period, like 3 the day it was supposed to come and many more until I got my period. One month, I was convinced I was pregnant. There was a dip in my chart, I was tired, I had cramps and I'm sure some other symptoms. Oh, hello period. Bitch. I just logged on to FF and found my old charts.
March 2010- I for sure thought I was pregnant. This was the last month we could try, because Travis was leaving for 6 weeks. Hello period (the red boxes). Grr. 

I was pissed. I was a bit relieved that I didn't have to temp every morning and do all of the other crazy things (I'll get to that) I also was upset because we had to have been trying for 6 consecutive months for Travis to be able to get tested. It's no secret that our guys have been exposed to God knows what in Iraq. He had friends come back with cancer, some had children who weren't born 'normal'. We had to worry in the back of our minds.  Who knows when we would try again, it would be about a year. Yeay, another deployment, all alone. I would at least like to have someone to occupy my time. Goose and Maverick sleep too much. 

Travis got back in May and we were sad. The families didn't know we were trying, but we had to tell them to stop fricken asking. We said he was deploying next year and the timing wasn't right. It is beyond irritating to constantly be asked when you're going to reproduce. I DON'T KNOW. NO ONE KNOWS. ugh. So, we didn't take any precaution but we stopped trying. 

Getting Pregnant
It's true, don't try to get pregnant and you probably will. We found out in June that I was 6 weeks pregnant. Imagine that, the second we stop trying, I get pregnant. I quit my job in April, stopped temping and was living the dream, stress free. My doctor told me that's why I got pregnant. I cut out the bullshit and stopped stressing and thinking about it. Bazzinga!

I should've known I was pregnant at 4 weeks, all of the signs were there, but since we hadn't been trying, I was under no assumption that I was pregnant. I got nauseous every single day around 4:30. I had a stronger sense of smell and taste. When we flew to Michigan in June, I almost threw up when we had turbulence on the plane. Almost- as in I had the barf bag in my hand. Travis was making fun of me. I thought my mom bought the wrong pickles because they were SO salty. I took several naps a day in the hammock. I had cramps, I made my mom buy me tampons because I knew my period was going to come any day (HELLO LATE PERIOD). The last day in Michigan, it all made sense to Travis so we went and bought a test. 
BAM! How exciting! 
11 weeks
just one baby in there, i promise. i was fully aware how large i was. hello 35 pounds of water. seriously.

May was the last possible month we were going to 'see what happens.' because deployment was end of February. In fact, Brady's due date was the deployment date. 

Brady in my belly cast. 

My advice? Stop stressing. Don't try, or at least don't try very hard. Everyone on 16 and Pregnant got knocked up, I'm sure you will too. 

Oh, the other things I mentioned earlier? We took extreme measures when trying that added to the stress. Soft cups are for periods (disgusting, who uses these for their periods?!), we had a different name for them, but I'll leave that out of this. I put it in after we DTD to "keep everything in" (gross, I know, I'll stop here) and we also used preseed. I really don't like talking about this stuff and I'm the least candid person you will ever meet. You can do the research for yourself. Those things didn't work. Maybe they work for some people, but not super stressed people. Nothing works for people who are stressed. 
When you decide to start trying, meet with your OBGYN or midwife, they'll give you the best recommendations. Google isn't your OBGYN. I'll post soon about what to do once you're knocked up. Stop guessing and assuming, go meet with your medical professional. 

What's your story? Link up by clicking the good, the bad & the ugly image up there ^ or over there >


  1. Same thing happened to us. We finally decided to start a family and I wanted to get pregnant in a certain time frame so I would deliver between deployments. After trying everything for 9 months I finally just let go and decided maybe we weren't meant to yet.
    4 weeks later, I was pregnant!

  2. I remember back when I was in Florida you and I kind of touched on this subject in a FB message. You were trying, and I was giving up. Not because I wanted to, but we had seen a fertility specialist, I was fine, he wasn't. And he had a lot of work to do to be "baby makin worthy and ready." Fast forward 3 1/2 years, and thank goodness nothing came of it for me atleast lol.

    I did the ovulation sticks too, and I thought I was the only one who was not ovulating according to those things. I think those sticks made me feel even worse and added more stress to the whole process.

    But i'm a firm believer it all happens when it's supposed to; hence you giving birth right before travis was deployed. Perfect timing. And no calender or planning could have had it work out any more perfect for you!

    I'm looking forward to the day things are just right and it's my turn :) but until then, i'll atleast know what to expect all the way through thanks to your stories so I feel I'll be a bit more prepared thanks to you!

  3. I'm not pregnant and probably won't have a child for a while but I think what you write on here is incredibly helpful and honest! It's great to read something from someone who won't sugar coat anything. Thanks for writing posts like these... I'm sure it's not easy.