12 years later, it all makes sense

March 22, 2012
- I apologize for the lack of photos in this post, but it's a serious topic that I do not have pictures to help illustrate with-

"I'm having a heart attack," was something I would say often in college, and it became humorous to myself and my roommates. My heart hurt often and I had no idea. Never thought about going to a doctor and saying "I'm 18 and I have heart attacks almost every day." We all get random, weird feelings in our bodies, I guess it should've been a red flag when my heart hurt.

On Monday, I seriously thought I was having a heart attack, no joke. Well, I don't know what a heart attack feels like, but it was an excruciating pain that wasn't going away. I continued working, as usual, and even posted a Facbeook status about it. People told me to drink alcohol or get xanex. The xanex recco wasn't the first. I thought to myself "do I have anxiety?"

I Googled anxiety (i added the ☑ symbols and my comments in this color) 

Emotional symptoms of anxiety

In addition to the primary symptoms of irrational and excessive fear and worry, other common emotional symptoms of anxiety include:
  • Feelings of apprehension or dread i love making plans, but as soon as it comes time to do something i've scheduled, i don't want to do it, i freak out and try to cancel. 
  • Trouble concentrating a little bit- i can do my work well, but i'm always thinking about the next 10 things i need to do and triple checking my to do lists 
  • Feeling tense and jumpy always tense
  • Anticipating the worst not as much as my mom, haha, but i do worry.
  • Irritability always
  • Restlessness I've never been able to just sit and watch tv. In meetings, i'm fidgeting. I can't just be.
  • Watching for signs of danger
  • Feeling like your mind’s gone blank i wish!

Physical symptoms of anxiety

Anxiety is more than just a feeling. As a product of the body’s fight-or-flight response, anxiety involves a wide range of physical symptoms. Because of the numerous physical symptoms, anxiety sufferers often mistake their disorder for a medical illness. They may visit many doctors and make numerous trips to the hospital before their anxiety disorder is discovered.
Common physical symptoms of anxiety include:
  • Pounding heart not as often in the past, but almost every minute of every day that i'm awake since we moved to VA
  • Sweating
  • Stomach upset or dizziness
  • Frequent urination or diarrhea you know what? if i would've told a medical professional 12 years ago that i pee more than a pregnant woman, i would've been diagnosed with anxiety when i was 16. why didn't i ever say anything. my roommates in college, my friends, my husband and my coworkers make fun of me for having to pee soooooooooo often. I can find a bathroom in target, blindfolded. 
  • Shortness of breath when trying to explain something to someone or trying to make a long story short, i get anxious and short of breath
  • Tremors and twitches for the past 3 weeks, my left thumb has been twitching uncontrollably. travis said it was because i'm dehydrated, no amount of water can make my thumb stop twitching. 
  • Muscle tension always. i don't get massages cuz they're cool, i get them so i can function.
  • Headaches yes. in the past 2 months they are frequent. in the past 2 months, excedrin has also been of the market. the last 2 months have sucked. 
  • Fatigue i'm not always yawning tired, but i lack energy. 
  • Insomnia i don't lose sleep, but i have trouble falling sleep because i can't shut my brain off.

So now that you know my life story and my every move, anxiety explains everything. Seriously, 12 years later and I'm just now finding this out? Well, better late than never. I recently posted about my weight gain struggle. Know what's funny (not really)? According to my doctor, even if I ate salad every single day and never ate junk food, I would still gain weight. Stress is one of the number one causes of weight gain. I don't stress eat, I eat 3 meals a day, sometimes only 2, and that's it. Stress releases cortisol into the body, which long story short, makes you fat. Awesome. She told me a stressed person trying to lose weight should exercise 120 minutes per day. I'm stressed because there are not enough hours in the day, I'm supposed to find 120 minutes to do nothing but work out?

She gave me some medicine that will take about 2 weeks for me to notice a change. I'll see the doctor again in 3 weeks to evaluate if the dosage is enough or if we should up it. I'm going to go ahead and say up it.

So, if you're having heart attacks, peeing a lot, clenching your teeth and on the edge...go have an anxiety consultation and save yourself 12 years of stress.

1 comment:

  1. Hello there,

    Just stubled along this post and it has really opened my eyes. I suffer from almost all of the above symptoms above as well. I've know for awhile that I've had anxiety but haven't done anything about it as I'm scared to be on medication.

    Would you be able to let me know how your medication has helped and/or hindered your life since March?